The Great Glomping Experiment
by Desert Tree
Summary: Two girls and their magical butler go traveling through many different fictional worlds. Where will they end up? Who will they annoy? You'll have to read to find out.
1. Gotta Catch 'Em All

The Great Glomping Experiment

Chapter 1: Gotta Catch 'Em All!!

In a dimly lit college dorm room, with the television playing the Law and Order theme song in the background, there sat two girls of indiscriminate age looking at a computer screen and giggling madly. You do not need to know what they look like, know only that they are highly and easily amused.

"What are you two doing at such a late hour?"

The two girls looked up as the dashing butler stepped out of the swirling vortex that normally functioned as a closet. He adjusted his shiny black top hat and lifted an article of clothing off the floor with his black cane before depositing it into the laundry hamper.

"This room is always such a mess," he said, looking around disapprovingly, "I do not see why you cannot tidy it up once in a while."

"But if I picked up my stuff, I wouldn't know where it was," the girl known as Cedar replied.

The butler simply rolled his eyes and sat down on the twin bed beside the other girl. "Sahara, what are you working on? That does not look like homework...oh my, who is that poor, unfortunate girl that seems to be on fire?" he asked.

"Well, Winston, that would be a certain anime character that we hate with the fiery passion of a million suns."

Cedar chimed in again. "Don't you think it's pretty realistic for someone with our limited ability?"

Winston frowned. "I do not believe that this is an appropriate activity for young ladies."

"But we're poor and bored and out of new shows to watch what with this writer's strike," Cedar said.

Sahara nodded in agreement as she continued to shade the flames frantically.

Winston stood up and sighed. "It would be much better for you young ladies to venture outside for some fresh air and exercise on occasion."

"That would be a good idea if there was something to do outside," Cedar replied as she sank deeper into her comfortable chair.

"We could always run in circles for a while," Sahara said sarcastically without looking up from her computer screen.

"Well what if you could have grand adventures outside, like in those strange cartoons you are always watching?" Winston asked with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes.

"That would be great, but what are the chances of that happening?" Cedar said forlornly.

Winston, to the girls' surprise, began chuckling and it quickly drew their attention away from the computer.

"Winston, are you alright? What's wrong with you?" Sahara asked, concerned. "Are you sick?"

"No no, merely amused. I've just had a brilliant idea," he said as he tapped his cane twice upon the messy floor. Another swirling vortex appeared in front of the television, but this time a small town could be seen on the other side.

Sahara and Cedar leaned forward, interested, the computer forgotten. "What's that? That doesn't look like your secret room," Sahara said.

"That is because it is a portal leading to one of those anime worlds you two are always talking about," Winston said, looking quite pleased with himself at their shocked expressions.

"Really? Is that really an anime world? You're not kidding, Winston?" Cedar was almost beside herself with excitement.

"Which one is it?" Sahara asked, not doubting the magical butler's words for a moment.

"You will have to discover that for yourself," Winston replied mysteriously.

"You just don't know, do you?" Sahara smiled knowingly at him.

"No, I do not," he replied. "My magic works in ways that even I cannot fathom at times."

Sahara and Cedar grinned at each other before advancing toward the mysterious swirling portal. Winston was suddenly alarmed. "Wait, we should prepare the proper necessities before departing, and there are rules I must explain!"

"There's no time, Winston! Anime awaits!" Cedar cried as she dove headfirst towards the town.

Winston looked extremely distressed. "Oh dear. Perhaps I should have explained things before opening the portal."

"There'll be time for that later, Winston. Let's go!" Sahara said, grabbing Winston's arm and pulling him after her.

He tripped over an empty cupcake container. "Blast this dimly-lit room!" he declared.

"Yeah, I'll have to get that light fixed when we get back," Sahara said before she was sucked into the mass of swirling colors.

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Cedar and Sahara landed in a heap on the grass while Winston magically floated down from the sky, his fall slowed by a black umbrella that he held over his head. When he landed, he closed the device, gave a flick of his wrist, and the umbrella turned back into his cane.

"Are you two alright?" he asked, looking down at the girls.

Sahara quickly climbed off of her friend and stood up, brushing grass and dirt off her clothes. "I'm fine, but this isn't what I was thinking of when you mentioned exercise, Winston."

Cedar jumped up, excited again. "But we're here, Sahara! We're in an anime world! I don't know which world, but we should be able to figure it out pretty quickly."

They both looked around, trying to determine where they were. "We're on someone's lawn, in a pretty normal-looking neighborhood," Cedar said, adjusting her glasses, "though I think we're in Japan, because I can't read that sign."

"I can read that sign," Winston said, proudly.

"Good job, Winston, you're our automatic subtitles," Sahara said, giving the butler a hug. "What does it say?"

"It says 'Slow: Children at Play,'" Winston replied.

"Hmm, that's not very useful," Cedar said, then added quickly, "but thank you anyway, Winston."

"Hey, do we know any characters that like to rollerblade?" Sahara asked, peering down the street.

"Why?" Cedar looked at her friend in confusion.

At that moment, a small figure whizzed up the driveway and stopped at the front door before turning to peer at the strange people standing in her yard.

"Oh hello! Are you friends of my brother?" she asked in a sweet, high-pitched voice.

Sahara and Cedar stared at the girl, their jaws hanging open while Winston took off his hat and bowed. "Good day young lady, I am Winston and these are my wards, Sahara and Cedar. We're just visitors to this country," he said.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Sakura Kinomoto," the girl said, also bowing, "Your Japanese is very good for a foreigner."

"Thank you," Winston replied. He glanced at the young ladies curiously, wondering why they hadn't said anything yet. "Hello? Are you two still with us?" When he received no response, Winston raised his cane and shot a small jet of water from the end, wetting Sahara and Cedar. "You shouldn't be rude to our new friend. Please stop staring."

The friends snapped out of their daze and mumbled greetings. Sakura ignored them since she was too busy gazing at Winston in amazement. "How did you do that?" she asked.

Winston smiled kindly at the young girl, "Just a bit of magic, my dear, nothing to be alarmed at."

Instead of alarm, a somewhat calculating look overtook the girl's features. It was gone in an instant, though, as she sat down and pulled off her rollerblades. "Would you like to come in for tea and snacks?"

"That would be delightful," Winston replied, "I haven't had a good cup of Japanese tea in ages. Come along, you two."

Sahara and Cedar followed the butler as he entered the Kinomoto residence.

"Please have a seat in the living room and I'll bring the tea in soon," Sakura said as she headed for the kitchen.

Sahara and Cedar immediately broke into excited whispering.

"I can't believe we're really here!" Cedar said, gripping tightly to the arms of the chair she was sitting in.

"Sakura's so cute! I just want to hug her!" Sahara replied, bouncing a little.

"Me too! I want to hug Fujitaka, too! Do you think he's here?" She suddenly looked around as if the handsome man would appear as she spoke.

"I don't know, but I hope so. I hope Touya or Syaoran are here, too." Sahara bounced faster at the thought.

"I rather like that young Miss Sakura. She's so polite and considerate," Winston said. "You two could stand to learn a few things from her."

It was at that moment that the butler's hat suddenly fell into his lap. Winston studied it curiously. "Oh dear. My hat seems to have acquired a dent in it."

"That didn't work?" Sakura's sweet voice came from behind Winston. "You must be a very powerful Clow Card."

The three were surprised to see Sakura standing up from her spot behind the couch, her magical staff in her hand. Kero popped up as well, and began searching the room frantically.

"Where is it, Sakura? Where is the card you sensed?" Kero cried.

Sakura looked confused. "Isn't it right here, sitting on the couch?"

Kero flew over and studied Winston's face carefully. Winston frowned and pulled away slightly.

"I am getting some strange magical energies from him, but not anything like a Clow Card," Kero said.

"I will ask you not to discuss my energies in mixed company, if you please," Winston replied, annoyed.

"I'm sorry, sir," Sakura said, looking embarrassed. "I thought you were..." She trailed off, looking unsure of how to finish her sentence.

"Oh, it's okay, Sakura. We know all about your mission to catch the Clow Cards," Cedar said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Winston's fine anyway. He's survived much worse. Like my laundry," Sahara quickly added.

Sakura and Kero looked shocked. "How do you know about the Clow Cards?" she asked.

Cedar and Sahara looked at each other, both trying to think of an answer that made sense.

"Clow Reed was an acquaintance of mine," Winston said calmly.

"What?" everyone who was not Winston asked incredulously.

At that moment, the door opened and Touya Kinomoto entered his house. Kero quickly went limp and fell onto the nearest surface, which happened to be Sahara's lap. Sahara suppressed a squeal and hugged the small beast quickly. Touya stared at the strange people in his living room.

"Who are you? Friends of the monster?" he asked.

"Brother!" Sakura shouted indignantly, stepping on Touya's foot. "Be polite to our guests!"

After the introductions, Touya left the group to go upstairs and do his homework in his room. Sahara looked downtrodden as he walked up the stairs, but her thoughts were quickly discarded as Cedar let out a small shriek. Fujitaka had just walked through the door and looked politely at the strangers.

"Oh, hello," he said, "Are these your guests, Sakura-san?"

"Yes, Dad," Sakura replied, rushing over to hug her father. "These are Cedar-san, Sahara-san, and Winston-san."

"It's nice to meet you," he said, looking a bit confused as the girls suddenly approached him.

"Mr. Kinomoto, I'm such a big fan of yours," Cedar said, her eyes turning into hearts.

"Oh, thank you. It's always nice to meet fellow archeology lovers," he said, smiling.

"Mr. Kinomoto, I have a request for you that may sound a little strange at first, but it's really important to me," Sahara said, looking serious. Winston stood up from his seat and gave her a disapproving look that she completely ignored.

"Um, what is it?" Fujitaka asked.

"I would really like it if I could...give you a hug," Sahara finished, gazing up at him hopefully.

Cedar gasped, unable to believe her friend's nerve until Fujitaka said yes and then she quickly asked for one, too. Both girls hugged the professor tightly. Sahara let go after a minute, looking extremely happy, but Cedar held on for a few seconds longer before reluctantly backing away.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Kinomoto," Sahara said, dreamy-eyed, "You have no idea how much that meant to us." She glanced over at Cedar who was still speechless and added, "Especially Cedar."

Winston cleared his throat from behind them. "I believe it is time to leave, you two. We have imposed on these kind people enough." He moved to the front door and opened it only to find a small boy just about to knock.

"I'm sorry," the boy said, blushing, "I was just looking for Kinomoto-san."

Sahara peered around Winston and her eyes lit up. "Syaoran-kun!" she shouted and hugged the boy tightly.

"Hey! What are you doing? Get off!" Syaoran said, pulling away.

"Sorry, sorry! I couldn't help myself!" Sahara apologized.

Winston sighed and frowned at her. "We really _must_ be going now," he said.

"What's all this noise down here?" Touya said as he reappeared in the living room.

Sahara smiled mischievously, "Well, since I'm being rude and we're leaving anyway..." She dove at Touya and hugged him quickly, then hugged Sakura and bolted out the door at a flat out run.

During the confusion, Cedar quickly hugged Fujitaka again before dashing over to his daughter and embracing her as well and following Sahara out the door.

Winston looked horrified, his normally calm expression shattered. "Please accept...my deepest apologies at the poor behavior of my wards." He waved his cane and a large table of desserts appeared in the Kinomoto living room. "I hope this will in some way make up for this debacle." Winston bowed once again before stepping outside. He swiftly changed his cane into an umbrella and flew off after the girls who were still running down the street.

The Kinomotos stared after them and silently vowed never to open their door to strangers again.

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By the time Sahara and Cedar had finally stopped to catch their breath, they realized that they were surrounded by shops.

"Uh...Where are we?" Sahara asked, confused.

"I guess...Tokyo still," Cedar replied.

"Oh. Do we have any money?"

"I don't think we have any _yen_."

"I cannot believe what just happened. Do you have no shame?" Winston said as he floated to the ground, once again changing his umbrella back into a cane.

The girls looked up at him guiltily. "I'm sorry! I couldn't help it," Cedar apologized. "I never thought I'd actually meet one of my favorite fictional characters."

"You were the one that brought us here. Don't you ever listen to us while we're watching these shows?" Sahara asked.

"No. I try to avoid you while you watch these shows," Winston replied.

Sahara grinned, "Then it's your fault, isn't it?"

Winston looked affronted, "Of course not. I tried to do something nice for you girls and this is how you behave?"

"I know. I'm sorry, too, but I can't promise that I won't do it again," Sahara said, shrugging.

"Me neither," Cedar added.

Winston sighed, "Well, if that is the worst act you commit in these worlds, then I suppose it is all right. But I feel the need to lay down some ground rules before we continue any further."

"Rules?" Cedar asked. The girls looked up, interested.

"Yes. Every part of life should have rules and this is no exception," Winston cleared his throat before beginning. "First, you cannot do anything that would interrupt the natural story line of each world. For example, you cannot tell anyone about what will happen in the future, you cannot prevent them from completing the tasks that are necessary for the world, and you especially cannot kill anyone or prevent anyone from dying."

"What? No!" Cedar exclaimed, "But there's some people that we need to save!"

"And there's some people that need to die," Sahara added, rubbing her hands together.

"I am sorry, but you cannot. Any careless action you take could disrupt the fabric of space-time itself," Winston looked sternly down at the two pouting faces.

"I understand that, but you can't expect me to let my favorite character die!" Cedar protested.

"If you choose not to follow the rules, we will go home immediately," Winston said firmly.

"Alright," Cedar said, not at all content.

"Good. Next, my magic has its limits. The portals that open are completely random and not even I know where we land next. However, once we have been to a world, I will be able to return there if need be. Also, opening portals is very draining and so we must spend at least an hour in each world before I can open the next one."

The girls nodded in understanding, but Sahara was quickly distracted by the delicious smells wafting out of a nearby cafe.

"Winston," she said slowly, "You wouldn't happen to have any yen, would you?"

"Well, I do not currently possess any, but I could create some if I had to. I do not wish to disturb the economy of this world, though," Winston replied.

Sahara crossed her arms and looked disapprovingly at the butler. "Oh Winston, how could buying a few pastries disturb the entire economy? Are they golden pastries?" she asked sarcastically.

"I suppose you have a point," Winston acquiesced and with a wave of his cane the girls found a few of the foreign bills in their hands.

"Hooray!" Sahara rejoiced, bounding off into the nearest cafe. Cedar and Winston followed and soon the three were enjoying a tasty afternoon snack.

The conversation topic quickly turned back to hugging.

"I still can't believe I hugged Fujitaka!" Cedar gushed, waving her croissant for emphasis.

"I know what you mean. It was so much fun!" Sahara agreed, cutting her apple danish into fourths.

Winston sipped his green tea. "Are you still on that topic?" he asked. "I thought it was incredibly improper for young ladies to go around hugging strangers."

"But they're not strangers to us!" Cedar argued, "We invested hours in their stories."

"We know they're not going to hurt us or anything," Sahara said, stacking the pieces of her danish like Linkin' Logs.

"Well, some of them might hurt us. Imagine if we tried to hug someone like Sesshomaru," Cedar reasoned.

"Yeah, that would be cool," Sahara said, getting a dreamy look in her eyes.

"We'd probably have to hug and run...or to make some sort of plan," Cedar said, "But I'd still like to see the look on his face."

"I do not like where this conversation is heading," Winston interrupted, looking worried. "I hope you are not seriously thinking about hugging more people in the worlds we visit. Most of them would not appreciate it."

Cedar and Sahara pretended not to hear Winston's concerns and continued talking. "Wouldn't it be cool to see how our favorite characters reacted to being hugged?" Cedar asked, looking excited.

"We could track their reactions. It would be an experiment for _science,_" Sahara replied.

"What branch of science would this knowledge be useful for?" Winston asked, skeptical.

"For _our_ branch of science," Sahara replied as if the answer were obvious, "We'll be practicing the scientific method, too. Forming a hypothesis and planning experiments, evaluating results. It'll be just like school, but way more awesome!"

"We'll need to get notebooks, then. Winston, can we have more money?" Cedar asked.

Winston knew the two girls could not be dissuaded from this idea and materialized some more yen. After finishing their snack, only half of which Sahara actually ate, the girls wandered into a shop and fortunately found a pair of notebooks and pencils pretty easily. They were so busy discussing their upcoming experiment that they bumped into someone on their way to the checkout counter.

"Oh I'm so sorry, are you alright?" Cedar and Sahara gaped at the smiling face of Yukito Tsukishiro before glomping him simultaneously. Before he could respond, they had rushed up to the counter and purchased their items, which were then opened and furiously scribbled upon.

"I think that's everyone in this world, isn't it?" Cedar asked.

"I think so," Sahara agreed. "I can't think of anyone else."

The bell on the shop door jingled as Winston entered. "Are you through with your purchasing?" he asked, looking around. He then spotted a very rumpled-looking Yukito, and sighed, "Oh not again. Please accept my apologies and head over to the Kinomoto residence for an offering."

Sahara and Cedar waved to Yukito as they followed Winston back outside.

"Have you recharged your magic yet, Winston?" Cedar wondered, still writing in her notebook. Sahara peeked over her friend's shoulder.

"Hey, you're just writing 'I love Fujitaka' over and over again," she said, laughing.

"Please don't question the way I organize my notebook and I won't question yours," Cedar replied.

Sahara laughed harder, "I'll probably do the same thing at least once during this trip."

"I'd wager more than once."

Winston looked nervously around the street. "My magic is fully charged now, girls. Let us go now before the local authorities come looking for us."

"We'll be the notorious Hug Bandits. Stealing hugs all across the city! We'll be untouchable, untouchable I say!" Sahara cried triumphantly.

"I think you'd better open that portal before Sahara goes crazy with power," Cedar muttered to Winston.

"Quite right," the butler agreed, ducking into an alley and quickly creating the portal. The two girls said their goodbyes to the world of Cardcaptor Sakura, held tightly to their notebooks, and dived into the swirling vortex.

Disclaimer: We do not own Cardcaptor Sakura, Linkin' Logs, or that apple danish Sahara was eating. They were all borrowed, but put to good use.


	2. Scarface

Scarface

Scarface

Winston floated gently to the lush grass below him while staring with an expressionless face at the dizzied girls lying in a heap before him.

"Are you two all right?" he asked after making contact with the ground. A flick of his wrist transformed the umbrella back into a cane and the distinguished butler hung it upon his arm before offering to help the girls stand.

"I think so," Cedar reapplied after cleaning and readjusting her glasses.

"My butt hurts," Sahara announced while brushing dirt from her clothes, "but otherwise, I'm fine. So, Winston, where are we now?" The trio gazed about the new landscape, searching for any clue to help identify this new world.

"It would appear that we are once again in the nation of Japan," Winston replied, pointing with his cane to a street sign covered with symbols unreadable to the girls.

"That still doesn't really answer the question, though," Sahara said with a smile.

"Well, judging from the fact that the road is made of dirt, we most likely are in the past," Cedar offered.

"A most probable deduction," Winston replied, causing Cedar to blush happily.

"Oh, before I forget," Sahara said, turning sharply toward the butler, "I thought you mentioned knowing Clow Reed when we were in Sakura's world. Is that true?"

"Yes, unfortunately I am acquainted with that frivolous, irresponsible wizard." Winston spoke this last word with much distaste. "We happened to meet per chance at the Sorcerer's Convention some time ago."

"A sorcerer's convention?" Cedar interrupted with a curious expression. "How come we've never heard you mention that before?"

"That would be because I have not attended in quite some years," Winston explained with ease. "As you might recall, I have been rather busy attending to a pair of young ladies who are easily bored."

"So, does this mean you know other magically powerful people that Sahara and I thought were only figments of someone's imagination?" Cedar inquired.

"I suppose," Winston said, although he looked a little reluctant to continue the conversation.

"Like who?" Sahara asked, skipping around the grass cheerfully.

"I do not feel like discussing the list of my acquaintances at this time." Winston's tone sounded final so Cedar shrugged and returned to another, more pressing, issue.

"So, have we found any other clues as to where we are?" Before anyone could answer, the sound of a sliding door being pulled open drew the attention of the trio, who swiftly turned around to stare at the wooden domicile they had failed to notice mere minutes ago. A short, feminine man with long red hair and a sheathed blade at his side was stepping onto the lawn while a young woman and a boy followed.

"Now, when you're in town don't forget we need soy sauce and rice, Kenshin" the woman was saying.

"Yes, Kaoru-dono, this one will not forget…" the man trailed off after realizing three strangely dressed people were standing before the dojo and staring at him. "Uh, hello-"

"KENSHIN!" the girls shrieked in unison before lunging at the swordsman and glomping him from both sides.

"ORO?" Kenshin cried, his eyes becoming spirals.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Kaoru glared at the teens with fire in her eyes.

"Sorry, I'm being terribly rude," Sahara replied as she stepped way from the swordsman. "You must want a hug as well!"

"What?" Before she could blink Kaoru found herself glomped as well.

"That looks like fun," Cedar said as she also embraced the young swordswoman.

"Please accept my deepest apologies," Winston said to the boy, as he seemed to be the only conscious one at this point. "Oh, I seem to be apologizing quite a lot these days."

"Well, I guess as long as they don't hurt them, it's okay" the boy said with a shrug. "I'm Yahiko Myoujin. Who are you?"

"I am known as Winston, while those are Sahara on the left and Cedar on the right," the butler explained as he pointed to the pair hanging off of Kaoru.

"You talk funny and your names are weird," Yahiko said with a laugh. "Where are you from?" Winston gave a small frown.

"I am from nowhere," he said, drawing a confused expression from the boy.

"Winston, don't say that! You're going to creep them out," Sahara scolded after she and Cedar had finally relinquished their hold on Kaoru. The girls had retrieved their notebooks and were writing vigorously about the reactions their glomping had elicited.

"Kenshin definitely reacted as expected," Cedar said while Sahara nodded in agreement. Kaoru, who had recovered enough to help shake Kenshin back to reality, suddenly turned to the road.

"Oh, hello Sanosuke," she said, waving at the white-garbed fighter who was approaching the dojo.

"Hey, missie. What's going on here?" Sano peered at Winston in confusion before a scream caused him to jump.

"SANO!" Sahara's writing dropped to the ground as she sprinted over to the fighter and wrapped her arms around his waist. She seemed to be babbling incoherently, which was disturbing enough to people who were used to it, and was frightening Sanosuke like someone had pointed out a piece of technology.

"Get the hell off of me!" he yelled, trying to shake her lose.

"Okay!" Sahara jumped away from him with a smile. Winston sighed and tapped his cane on the ground.

"Once again, I must offer apologies for my wards," he said as a small vortex appeared beside him. "I see that this is a dojo, so perhaps these might be of some use to you." An array of wooden dummies used for sparring appeared on the lawn much to the astonishment of the characters.

"That is amazing, de gozaru yo," Kenshin said, his violet eyes wide enough to make the girls squee at him.

"It's not amazing, it's evil black magic!" Sanosuke spoke with horror in his voice as he backed quickly away from the strange trio. "He's going to try and steal our souls!"

"Ah, perhaps it would be best if we departed now," Winston replied, tapping his cane on the ground as if to emphasize his point.

"You're right," Sahara said as she finished her entry on Sanosuke.

"Good-bye Kenshin-gumi!" Cedar said with a wave as she headed over to peer down the road.

"Bye bye!" Sahara added before skipping off down the road, Cedar following along happily. Winston gave a polite bow to the mystified quartet and strolled along behind the girls. After staring at the wooden dummies for a few moments, Sanosuke rubbed his head and sighed.

"The Meiji era is not what it used to be."

It didn't take too long for the three travelers to reach an inhabited town. As Cedar and Sahara peered around eagerly at the novel surroundings, Winston eyed the two with a serious expression. "So, did either of you young ladies learn anything from that incident?"

"Yes," Sahara said, her face sobering. "Words are good." Cedar expressed her agreement while the butler shook his head.

"I should have expected this," he murmured. The trio spent a good few minutes wandering around before certain realizations set in.

"Winston, as much as I enjoy looking at old-fashioned Japanese clothing, toys, accessories, and other knick-knacks, I'm getting a bit tired," Sahara said.

"And did you notice that we're getting a lot of strange looks," Cedar added, glancing nervously around her. "How long will it be until we can leave for the next world?" Winston checked the shiny gold pocket watch he always carried with him.

"It appears that we still have a quarter of an hour to wait until my magic has recharged. Why don't you two try and absorb a bit of this historic culture while I search for a shop carrying teabags? Oh, and do try not to make any mischief this time."

"Mischief? From these darling angels?" Sahara questioned, donning her most innocent expression. Winston sighed as Cedar smiled before adjusting his hat and strolling of down the street.

"Well, what should we do now?" Cedar asked, trying to ignore the bevy of strange looks they were still attracting.

"I don't know. Let's go that way." Sahara gestured toward her companion's right so the two set off in search of some entertainment.

"You'd think that in this time of swordfights and bandits we'd see some action," Cedar muttered without thinking. As they turned a corner the pair was surprised to discover a section of town they'd never seen before.

"Do you remember how to get back to where Winston was?" Sahara asked, although she knew what the answer would be. "Great. We're lost."

"Oh? We can help you find your way." Cedar jumped while Sahara whirled around to glare at the assortment of shabby-looking men who had gathered close to them.

"Yeah, right, like I'd fall for that one," Sahara said with a roll of her eyes. "You're just disreputable thugs!"

"Sahara! Don't provoke them!" Cedar hissed.

"Oops. Well, I won't waste my breath apologizing, since that never works." Cedar slapped a hand against her forehead in disgust before realizing that the shabby men were now surrounding them.

"Mr. Bandit, please forgive my friend. She knows not what she says." The one who'd spoken before gave a gap-filled grin.

"Sure, I'll accept your apology… as long as it comes with an appropriate monetary compensation."

Ah, money, the great friendship maker," Sahara suddenly said with a smile. "If you gentlemen will just wait here for a moment, my associate and I will just make a quick trip to the bank and then we can settle this matter!" Still grinning she took a step toward two of the thugs, whom merely crossed their arms and shook their heads. Sahara sighed. "Well, it was worth a shot."

"Leave those young ladies be, rapscallions!"

"Yay! Winston's here!" Sahara flung up her arms in excitement as the butler made his way to the scene.

"Thank goodness," Cedar said, waving at the man. "I don't think they would have taken the news that we have no money well."

"Hey, gramps, you'd better stay out of this," the gap-toothed thug said with a sneer. "Or else you might break a hip… or something worse." Instead of justifying such a statement with a response, Winston struck the young man's skull with his cane so quickly that it felt like a small breeze had knocked him over. The rest of the gang watched in shock as the man fell to the ground, unconscious, before turning toward Winston.

"How dare you hurt our boss!" They lunged at the same time but with a few quick swipes of his walking stick, Winston swiftly dispatched with the entire gang.

"Children these days have no respect for their elders," he said while brushing a few specks of dust from his cane.

"Winston! My appreciation and adoration for you has grown exponentially!" Cedar cried before wrapping her arms around the older man.

"I respect you so much!" Sahara also embraced the butler.

"While I appreciate your sentiments, I must say that I am a tad disappointed." Both girls stepped back, looking at Winston curiously. "I thought I had taught you to fend for yourselves better than that."

"Well, I didn't remember to grab any weapons when we first set off on this adventure," Sahara replied. "How can I defend myself without a tool?"

"Or I?" Cedar added. Winston looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I suppose it would be difficult to spar without the proper accoutrements. All right then, when we arrive in a world where such items are available I will purchase whatever's necessary."

"Thanks a lot!" Cedar smiled. "Plus, I would be good to have some sort of protection if we landed in one of the dangerous, bloodier series."

"Oh? Which one are you thinking of?" Sahara questioned. Cedar shuddered.

"I think it'd be better not to talk about that just now. Let's just focus on getting to a new world safely."

"I concur. Now, ladies, let us set off once again," Winston said before tapping his cane to create the vortex of transportation. The three gazed at the olden world one last time before vanishing into the swirling ball of energy.


	3. Girls Gone Wild

Girls Gone Wild

A gentle mewing and a soft force against her cheek woke Cedar rather rapidly. She sat up in the grass and stared down at the tiny grey kitten that was now pawing at a strand of her hair.

"Sahara? Winston?"

"Morning, Cedar!" Sahara was sitting a few feet from her and thoroughly engaged in playing with a grey kitten of her own.

"I am a tad surprised that it took so long for you to rise, young miss." Winston was standing on the edge of the lawn and peering up and down the tar-black road.

"Sahara, you should have just shook me awake after we landed here!"

"But there were kitties! You know how much I love kitties!" Cedar frowned but just then her lap was made the resting place for the adorable ball of fluff and she could no longer hold onto any emotion besides joy.

"Well, it appears that we are back in modern times, and still within Japan's borders," Winston announced a moment later. "As such, may I suggest you two join me over here, lest someone assume we are trespassers."

"All right." Sahara and Cedar scooped up their respective kittens and strode over to the butler.

"I wonder where we are now?" Cedar said as she looked around in search of recognizable characters.

"Who cares? We've got kittens!" Sahara hugged the creature close to her chest. "The only thing that could make this world better would be a puppy!"

"Tadakichi-san! Wait for us!" A large white dog bounded down the street before promptly halting beside the traveling trio and a minute later a group of familiar-looking girls turned a corner.

"Oh! It's 'Azumanga' this time," Cedar said, although her words were drowned out by Sahara's jubilant exclamation.

"Doggie! Hurray!" She handed her kitten to Winston before glomping Tadakichi-san, who seemed not to mind. Cedar promptly did the same.

"Tadakichi-san! You should not run up to strangers like that!" a young girl with pigtails scolded as she reached the scene. "Please accept my apologies for bothering you," she said with a bow of her head.

"Oh, no, it's all right Chiyo-chan, he didn't bother us," Cedar said as she stood back up with a friendly smile. Chiyo looked at her in surprise.

"Hey! How did you know Chiyo-chan's name?" a hyper girl with short hair asked, staring intensely at the newcomers. "Are you new rivals?"

"Of course not, baka," a taller girl with glasses said as she bonked her friend on the head. "Don't you ever use that empty head of yours, Tomo?"

"They look like foreigners," a tanned girl said, arms crossed in front of her.

"Really, Kagura?" a short girl with wide, glassy eyes said as she peered unblinkingly at the trio. "I thought they looked like a traveling circus who've come to entertain us."

"I bet you're right, Osaka! And now Yomi can join as the 'Amazing Dieting Woman who never loses a pound'!" While Tomo was smacked over the head again, Cedar and Sahara started snickering at the antics of the girls and Winston merely looked at them in disapproval before removing his hat and bowing before the youngest girl.

"Please forgive the rudeness of my charges, young Miss Chiyo. I am Winston, a traveler, and these two are in my care as we journey."

"Oh, how exciting," Chiyo said, eyes widening at the idea of going on a journey.

"That still doesn't explain how you knew Chiyo-chan's name or why that girl is still hugging Tadakichi-san," Kagura said, still suspicious.

"Uh, we're… traveling magicians," Cedar quickly said. "We knew her name because we read it in the stars!"

"Wow!" Chiyo, Osaka, and Tomo were obviously impressed.

"Can you read my name?" the hyper girl asked.

"It's Tomo!" Sahara shouted.

"Amazing!"

"They already heard us call you that, idiot," Yomi snapped.

"That's right, they heard all of our names except for one." Kagura quickly pointed to the tallest member of their group, a girl with long-black hair and a slight blush on her face as she pointedly stared at the kittens held by Cedar and Winston. "If you're really magical, go ahead and tell us what her name is!" Cedar and Sahara grinned at each other knowingly.

"They're smiling!" Tomo announced suddenly "That means they must know Sakaki-san's name!"

"You moron!" This time Yomi and Kagura pounded on the skull of their classmate until she lay on the ground twitching.

"Winston!" Sahara finally released her grip from the Great Pyrenees and peered at the butler with wide, puppy-dog eyes. "Would you please do a trick to convince them that we're really traveling magicians?" Winston frowned and looked away.

"No. I am a highly respected mage, not some charlatan who pulls rabbits from hats." Sahara's face fell for a moment before suddenly lighting up again.

"Oh well. Then I suppose there's only one thing to do… does anyone have a tissue?" Winston looked back at the girl in alarm.

"You cannot possibly be thinking of-"

"Here you go," Cedar said with a puzzled look. "What are you going to do?"

"Thank you," she said while crumpling the thin paper into one fist. "And now, ladies and Winston, I have nothing up my sleeves!" Sahara then started pulling the smushed tissue out with her free hand. "Woooooooo-"

"All right, that is enough!" Winston all but shouted. 'Stop this mockery of magic at once!"

"That was supposed to be magic? Oh, Sahara… I have no words." While Cedar covered her face in shame, Sahara turned to Winston with a sly smile.

"Now will you do a trick? Or should I continue?"

"Fine!" the dashing gentleman bristled as he set the kitten on the ground. With a quick wave of his cane, an entire shelf full of plush animals appeared in the middle of the yard, drawing gasps and expressions of awe from the high school girls. "I dearly hope this is an acceptable token of apology for assaulting your dog and almost making you witness that appalling act."

"You really are magical," Kagura said as she picked up and examined one of the stuffed cats from the shelf. "It's amazing."

"And they're really for us? Awesone!" While most of the girls gathered around the shelf, Sakaki hung back shyly. Sahara quickly picked up the kitten and walked, with Cedar, toward the soft-spoken girl.

"Hi, I'm Cedar. Would you like to hold the kittens?" Sakaki looked startled before giving a curt nod and hesitantly reaching out her arms. The two balls of fur quickly took to the girl and nuzzled against her in such an adorable manner that both travelers awwwed. Sakaki herself looked as if she might faint.

"Hi Sakaki. I'm Sahara and you're awesome!" Sakaki looked up, surprised.

"Thank you," she said in a voice that was barely a whisper.

"You're awesome? That's it?" Cedar asked. Sahara shrugged.

"I don't know this series well enough to say anything more profound." Cedar simply shook her head before turning back to the cat-lover.

"Well, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you that I think you are a wonderfully kind person and an amazing friend, especially to Chiyo-chan! Please don't give up your dreams, Sakaki, because one day I know they will come true!" After a moment of silent staring Sakaki offered a weak smile.

"Ah, thank you as well." Sahara, who had also been speechless, finally turned to her friend.

"Uh, you kind of came off like a creepy stalker there, Cedar."

"I was just trying to be encouraging!" Cedar protested. A sudden bark by Tadakichi-san drew everyone's attention. Just then the kittens squirmed to the ground and scampered over to an older tabby who'd just appeared.

"Yay! More kitties!" Sahara cried as she ran over to pet the newcomer.

"Wow, they're all around us!" Tomo said, and it was then that Cedar realized more and more felines were appearing on the street and yards around them. Panic quickly overtook her.

"Sahara! More cats in this world is not a good thing, remember?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Winston asked, looking perplexed. "What could be displeasing about so many cats?" A sudden gasp from Sakaki made Cedar turn and, just as she feared, a black cat with a large, toothy grin was sitting and staring at the humans hungrily.

"Oh no!" Sahara bolted back to where Cedar and Winston stood. "I'm too young to die!"

"No one's going to die! We just need to remain calm and think of a plan!"

"Running's a plan," Sahara suggested.

"Will someone please tell me what is the problem here?" Winston demanded.

"The problem is that we are trapped in the presence of the most evil cat in the world!" Cedar yelled, her earlier claim of remaining calm forgotten.

"We need to get the others out of here," Sakaki said, sounding bolder than she ever had in the series. "If they follow Tadakichi-san, he should be able to protect them until they reach safety."

"Good idea!" Cedar turned toward the confused girls and tried her best at sounding collected. "Winston has sensed some mysterious forces coming from these cats and has suggested you all leave so he can investigate."

"Oh, what kind of strange forces?" Osaka asked, still failing to blink.

"Not very good ones," Cedar said. "Tell them, Winston."

"Well, yes, I do feel a bit odd about those creatures now that you mention it," Winston admitted. "Perhaps it would be best if you left the situation for us to handle."

"Okay, we're out of here," Yomi said, assuming an authoritative role. "I don't want to be anywhere near an area where a magician feels odd powers. Come on, girls." As the girls gathered their plushies, Chiyo rushed over to Winston and bowed once again.

"Thanks so very much for these presents, Winston-san. We really appreciate them." Winston smiled.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, my dear."

"Chiyo-chan!" Neither Cedar nor Sahara could resist the sweet little girl and gently glomped her at the same time.

"Now, really! I cannot understand how you young ladies so often forget your manners," Winston scolded. Chiyo looked a tad confused but she smiled at the butler.

"I don't mind. Anyway, I hope we get to meet once again." With a wave, Chiyo climbed atop her Great Pyrenees and smiled as he walked off down the road. The cats instinctively scattered at the sight of their mortal enemy and allowed Chiyo and her friends passage to the road.

"See you at school tomorrow, Sakaki-san!" Kagura called back cheerfully. She and the others seemed unaware that the collection of cats had grown thicker and edged closer to the remaining four.

"Now what should we do?" The loss of Chiyo and her dog had allowed panic to infiltrate their minds once again.

"I'm not sure," Sakaki said. "But if they try anything, stay behind me."

"Miss Sakaki, we could never allow you to put yourself in the path of harm for us!" Winston proclaimed. "With our combined intellect we should be able to discover a peaceful solution."

"Wait, I've got it!" Sahara turned to the butler with an excited expression. "Maybe we can placate them! What do cats love best?"

"Yes, I understand!" Winston quickly tapped the bottom of his cane against the grass three times and in the next instant the ground was covered in fish. The cats, who'd been growing ever closer, started at this strange occurrence before yowling in excitement and attacking the delicious treats with full relish.

"It's working! Sahara, you're a genius!" Cedar pulled her friend into a hug while Sahara beamed proudly.

"I believe anyone who has witnessed her so-called 'magic act' would disagree," Winston quipped.

"Aww, come on, that was a good idea!" Sahara protested. "Don't I get even a little credit?"

"Yes, yes, that was very clever," Winston said, patting the girl's head.

"Uh, I don't mean to interrupt but there still is a problem," Sakaki interjected in her quiet voice. The trio turned and realized the toothy black cat, although daunted by the loss of his troops, was undauntedly walking closer to where they stood.

"Why didn't food distract him?" Sahara wondered.

"Because he's evil and only desires the taste of human flesh!" Cedar was now stepping backwards and pulling her companions by the arms. "We're just going to have to run!"

"No, wait! I have another plan!" The three turned to Sahara, who had an unusually determined look upon her face. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment, and turned toward the vicious feline. Then she lunged, arms waving and feet flinging, screaming wildly, and ready for a battle. The cat froze, unsure if what it saw was really happening, until Sahara's foot collided with its side and launched him into the air and over a wall a few yards away. "I did it!" She turned back to pose victoriously for her friends. Cedar, Sakaki, and Winston stood almost frozen on that warm afternoon until the older gentleman cleared his throat.

"I suppose this indicates the end of her genius streak."

"Hey! At least it worked," she said after returning o the group.

"Yes! You've saved us all!" While Cedar once again glomped her friend, Winston took the time to bow before Sakaki.

"May I apologize once again for disrupting the course of your day and putting you at risk of feline trauma, Miss Sakaki?"

"Oh, there's no need for that," Sakaki said with a blush. "I'm just grateful that no one was injured."

"You are too kind. Please accept these as tokens of our friendship." Winston shook his cane and produced two grey kitten plushies that resembled the creatures once held by the girl. Sakaki stared at the toys before gently placing them inside her school bag.

"Thank you so much." Winston smiled.

"Uh, Sakaki, before you go… can we get hugs?" Sakaki turned to the pair in surprise before softly mumbling an affirmative. Swiftly they glomped the tall girl until her cheeks burned bright crimson, and then they waved as she carefully stepped over the still-eating cats and made her way back home.

'What peasant young ladies," Winston said as he pulled out his pocket watch. "You two would certainly benefit from following their examples."

"Uh huh. Is it almost time to depart?" Cedar wondered.

"We have but a few minutes to wait."

"Then let's wait in someplace that's not covered in hungry cats." Agreeing, the three scuttled off down the street in search of a safer resting area.

"Wow, anime worlds are ore dangerous than I thought," Sahara admitted. "I mean, I knew some would be filled with perils and such, but I never thought the comedic series would pose any danger. We definitely need to find some weapons as soon as possible." Cedar nodded in agreement.

"I think I should take this opportunity to remind you two that, no matter how much you dislike someone you meet in a new world, you cannot seriously injure or try to kill him or her."

"We know, we know," Cedar said with a sigh.

"Good. Then, let us depart."

**Disclaimer:** We forgot this in the first chapter, but for all chapters of this story, we'd just like to say that we don't own any characters from any show, book, or manga series mentioned in this fiction. This should kinda go without saying, but better safe than sorry.


	4. The Twilight Zone

The Twilight Zone

The reddish-golden glow of the sunset bathed the quaint seaside town, causing Sahara and Cedar to squint for a few moments until their eyes properly adjusted to the brightness.

"What a serene little area," Winston mused as he strolled around. "Actually, it seems a little too serene, almost as if it weren't real. Perhaps that is why I am sensing some unusual magical readings."

"It does look familiar," Cedar added as she too took to examining the town.

"I've definitely seen that clock tower before," Sahara said, pointing to the gargantuan structure in the center of the area.

"That's right, I have too," Cedar realized. "But where?" Just then a spinning blue ball whizzed through the air until it struck Sahara's cranium.

"Ow, muffins!" she exclaimed before reaching up to rub her injured skull.

"Who in this charming town is rude enough to launch such dangerous projectiles at us?" Winston demanded as he searched for the perpetrator.

"I'm sorry, that was my fault!" A handsome young man with short, spiky golden hair and crystal blue eyes ran over to the group, as did his three friends.

"I guess Roxas don't know his own strength when it comes to blitzball," a young man wit brown hair said, smirking.

"Well, I suppose since it was an accident amends can be made at this time," the butler said with a bow. "Greetings. I am Winston and these are-" He paused after seeing that the girls' eyes were transfixed on the blonde. "These are great, bubbling nargleflaxes who are not paying attention to a word I am saying."

"ROXAS!" they shouted in unison before tackle-glomping the poor guy.

"We love you!" Sahara shouted.

"You're so much more awesome than Sora!" Cedar cried before quickly adding, "Not that anyone named Sora is important or anything."

"Nice save," Sahara muttered, but she was still too involved in the hug to say anything further.

"So, Roxas, are these friends of yours we haven't met?" a girl with braids asked as she and a boy with black hair tried not to laugh.

"No! And it's not funny! I have no idea who these girls are or why they won't stop hugging me! Olette, Pence, Hayner, help me!" Roxas seemed rather annoyed by this point and tried physically shaking the girls off of him.

"Young ladies, I do believe that is enough," Winston admonished. "Please release that young man at once."

"Okay." With sighs the two stood up and allowed Roxas to return to his friends.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Sahara quickly pulled out her notebook and flipped to the next blank page.

"I did too," Cedar realized as she also set about to jot down her latest glomping victims. "We now have two worlds to catch up on, Sahara."

"How could I ever forget the time I almost got eaten by a horde of cats?" she said with a laugh.

"I really don't understand what you two are doing," the boy known as Hayner said, "but you have to move. We're using this spot for a blitzball tournament in a few minutes." The girls looked up and realized a large crowd was gathering around the arena.

"Yes! Blitzball!" Sahara said in excitement. "I love games where people become piñatas."

"Well I do not, so let us find a safe location to rest." The girls followed after Winston as he took a seat atop a bench close to the playing arena and plopped down beside him. It wasn't long before the tournament began and Roxas was forced to compete against a short, mysterious figure wearing a pointy brown hat and a blue coat.

"It's Vivi!" Sahara screamed. "I forgot he was in Twilight Town! Go Vivi! I mean Roxas! I mean…"

"It's okay, we can cheer for both!" Cedar said as she waved towards the competitors.

"Okay, go both!" It didn't take long for Roxas to defeat the adorable black mage and the second Vivi exited the arena Sahara and Cedar were on him like burs on pants.

"Do I know you?" Vivi asked in his squeaky voice.

"No, but we love you anyway!" Sahara said, as Cedar nodded vigorously. Winston sighed and produced a tiny star charm from the end of his cane.

"Please accept this and my apologies, good mage." Vivi accepted the gift, causing his attackers to hug him again.

"Hey, what are you doing? Get off of him!" Another competitor, Seifer, and his gang approached the affectionate girls.

"I'm sorry!" Cedar jumped up apologetically while Sahara glared at the young man.

"You suck," was all she said before finally releasing the mage.

"Like I care," Seifer said with disinterest as he turned to leave. Still angry, Sahara picked up two spare blitzballs, handed one to Cedar, and counted to three.

"Jerkwad!" Sahara screamed as she and her companion released their spheres. Seifer was bonked twice on the head and turned back to growl menacingly at the two. "Oh, go soak your head!" Sahara yelled back, refusing to be intimidated. Cedar did not have that luxury, so she quickly pulled Sahara back to the benches.

"Maybe that's enough for now, okay?" Sahara sighed before nodding.

"Really, how atrocious your behavior has grown," Winston said as he waved his cane to create glasses of punch.

"Sorry, Winston," Sahara said before politely drinking her punch. A man nearby was selling sea salt ice cream and the girls decided to sample the unusual treat. "Yummy," was Sahara's verdict, as was Cedar's. During the next round Roxas defeated his friend Hayner and then Seifer, much to Sahara's pleasure.

"Oh, it's the last round," Cedar said after draining another cup of punch. "I wonder if he really will show up." Just then a white flash permeated the town and time itself froze except for Roxas, Winston, the girls, and a red-haired man in a black coat that magically appeared in the middle of the arena.

"What in the world just happened," Winston pondered aloud, "and why hasn't it happened to us?" Unfortunately his query went unanswered as Cedar and Sahara were already running towards the mysterious man.

"Axel! You're so cool!" Sahara exclaimed as she glomped the surprised fire-wielder. "You should leave organization XIII, you're too good for them!"

"I don't think you should have said that much," Cedar responded as she too wrapped her arms around Axel's figure.

"Hmm, you're probably right. Oh well."

"What the hell? Who are you and why aren't you frozen?" Axel demanded as he tried wriggling free.

"Because we're cool like that?" Sahara tried. Axel scowled before reaching into the air.

"I don't know what you are, but I have business here and I can't allow you to interfere." The girls just made out two wheels of flame before Winston grabbed their arms, turned his cane into an umbrella, and carried them off into the twilight sky.

"I believe we have worn out our welcome here, so let us retire to a safer location until my magic has recharged."

"Hey Axel!" Sahara called as they floated away. "Hug Demyx for me!"

"I don't think he heard you," Cedar said as Axel turned his attention to Roxas.

"Well, I suppose it was for the best." They floated along for a while and peered down at the sparkling blue waters and lush green forests below before a large mansion came in to view.

"This seems like a peaceful area," Winston said as he brought the umbrella lower and lower until the travelers were on the ground again. Sahara and Cedar eagerly gazed at the building.

"We have to go in and see her before we leave," Cedar announced, her excitement growing.

"Yeah! And we should probably get inside before Heartless and Nobodies start showing up," Sahara added. Then she slapped her forehead. "Oh, man! We could have taken those blitzball bats as weapons!"

"Those things? They weren't particularly strong," Cedar commented.

"Yeah, but they're better than nothing. Besides, didn't Roxas use one to fight enemies before receiving the keyblade?"

"You're right. But it's too late now, so oh well." Cursing their forgetfulness, the two girls and Winston quickly entered the mansion.

"Is there any particular room you two care to visit?" Winston asked. "I can sense magic all around this building, especially downstairs."

"No! I'm not going down there!" Sahara demanded. "I know Riku's there, but seeing him in that horrible body was the worst part of this game!"

"That was really awful," Cedar agreed. "Let's just try and find the White Room, okay?" The trio agreed and set off through the crumbling structure and even though the stairs seemed to be in a state of disrepair, they bravely ventured up to the second floor.

"Okay, it's one of these rooms," Sahara said. "We'll just check them all, since it shouldn't take long. After the first three turned out to be regular bedrooms, the girls squealed after reaching the fourth door.

"This is it!" Cedar said. "Oh, wait-should we knock?"

"Yeah, probably," Sahara said while Winston did the honors. After a few moments of silence a soft voice called out.

"Come in." The three promptly did and stood amazed at the beautiful room of pure white. It was amazing to even imagine a room could be so clean, especially when compared with the girls' room back home. Oh sure, Winston tried to help out with laundry and such, but really there's only so much one mage can do when confronted by lazy college students.

"My word, this place reminds me of a hospital room," Winston said. "Except for those drawings." He stepped closer to the immaculate walls and gazed at the simple crayon drawings decorating the space. "The child who drew these must be wonderfully advanced for his or her age."

"Thank you. I'm happy you like my pictures." At the shining white table sat a pale girl with blonde hair and a white dress. Around her sat a pile of paper and scattered crayons as she worked on her newest creation.

"You are the artist?" Winston asked in slight shock. "Please, gentle witch, do beg my pardon for speaking without thinking."

"It is all right," she replied, turning her attention to the two girls gaping at her. "Hello. It is nice to meet you. I am Namine."

"Hello, Namine. I'm Sahara." Cedar gazed in astonishment at her oddly collected friend. She suspected the bright room had a calming effect on her, if not Namine herself.

"Hi. I'm Cedar and that's Winston," she said, pointing to the bowing butler. "We came here to tell you what big fans we are of yours." Her expression shifted to one of surprise.

"I didn't think many people knew of my existence," she admitted.

"How could anyone not be aware of a witch with such amazing talents?" Winston asked, truly curious. Namine spared him a small smile.

"Quite easily, for I have rarely left this room."

"But why ever not?" Winston demanded. "Surely you aren't being kept here… are you?"

"You're from another world, aren't you?" Namine did not have to look up from her drawing to know the three strangers now wore shocked expressions.

"You could tell that with your powers?" Cedar asked.

"I don't need my powers for that, as you three look a bit out of place in this world."

"I guess you have a point," Sahara said as she and Cedar glanced down at their T-shirts and jeans. Just then a noise outside drew the travelers' attention. The girls rushed to the window and peered out as Roxas, now wielding a keyblade, engaged in a battle with several strange creatures. "Oh no, we have to leave before we mess up cannon," Sahara said, sounding anxious.

"You're right," Cedar agreed. "Maybe we should leave from that sliding glass door in the back, so we won't disturb Roxas."

"I always wanted to go out there!" Sahara beamed. "Winston! To the back yard!" The butler seemed not to here his charge as his face was tightened in concentration and his gaze had not left the blonde witch, who was still coloring serenely. Cedar and Sahara, unused to seeing Winston look so unsettled, approached him cautiously.

"Winston? Are you all right?" Winston blinked before reaching up to remove his hat and bowed before Namine.

"I must apologize for our sudden departure, Miss Namine, and I deeply hope our paths shall cross again in the future." Namine looked up, a surprised expression covering her features before she offered a small smile.

"I thank you for your kindness, although I'm not so certain where the future may lead for any of us." Winston nodded while the girls approached her.

"Namine, before we go, would you mind if we… hugged you?" Namine stared at the hopeful girls for a moment before nodding.

"All right." Quickly Sahara and Cedar embraced the girl.

"Don't give up, Namine, no matter how tough it gets!" Cedar cried. "We're rooting for you!"

"Try and stay happy, even when things seem miserable!" Sahara added.

"I… will try." Satisfied the girls rejoined Winston and, with one final glance at the gleaming room and its sole occupant, the three departed.

"I can't wait to see what's in the backyard," Sahara said, bounding down the stairs ahead of the others. "Maybe there are hidden treasure chests!"

"It would be nice to find something of value here," Cedar commented. "Then we could sell it in a future world instead of relying on Winston all the time." At his name, the butler stopped in the middle of the empty room and turned toward his companions.

"Do you young ladies happen to know why this world contains such… unusual magical energies?" Sahara and Cedar shared a look.

"Well, it's hard to explain if you haven't played the game," Cedar began slowly. "This world is not real-I mean, I know none of the worlds we've visited technically weren't real either, but within the context of this game, this world is even less real." Winston touched his chin thoughtfully.

"I take it, then, that you two are also aware of what will happen to those inhabiting this world?"

"Yes, that's right." Sahara walked closer to the older gentleman and gently laid a hand on is arm. "Are you all right, Winston?" He was silent a moment before the grip on his cane tightened.

"Perhaps I need to look into this situation a bit more than I originally thought. For now, let us depart."

A.N. Thank you to all of those reading this story!

AirheadedEvilness: I know DragonMage sent you a message already but I thought I should add my say to your question. Yes, it is true that our characters cannot kill or seriously harm cannon characters from any series, as that could lead to the entire universe collapsing upon itself. Although if our characters did land in the Naruto world, we would not even think of killing TenTen or Ino, for I like those characters and would not wish them any harm. We wouldn't mind taking out the members of Akatsuki, however, for they annoy us immensely.


	5. Playing with Dolls

Playing with Dolls

It was late in the evening when the trio of travelers landed on the soft grass outside a large hotel.

"I wonder where we are now," Cedar said as she gazed at the sign adorning the many-storied structure. "Hmm, this is in Spanish."

"Spanish? How much anime is set in Spanish-speaking countries?" Sahara wondered, her brow wrinkling.

"Well, there's Pedro from 'Excel Saga', but this doesn't look like his house," Cedar muttered before peering around curiously.

"Perhaps we should investigate more thoroughly," Winston suggested as he adjusted his coat. "It is fortunate that we have descended upon such an establishment, as the hour is growing late and we rather weary." Sahara yawned and nodded.

"You're right, Winston, I am getting tired."

"Let's just find some rooms and then we can try figuring out where we are tomorrow." Cedar's suggestion was met with agreement and the three soon were heading up to their connecting rooms. The girls quickly showered and changed before climbing into their twin beds while Winston stood by the door leading to his room patiently.

"I hope you young ladies sleep well. I shall see you in the morning."

"Okay, good night," Cedar called before burrowing under her covers.

"Don't forget to visit my dream tonight, Winston," Sahara said before lying down. "I'm going to the airport tonight, and you know how boring the airport is."

"Perhaps if you would board a flight every now and then, it would not seem so boring," Winston said before smiling. "Good night." He flipped the lights off and exited the room as the girls drifted off to sleep.

Some time later, while it was still dark out, several loud noises assaulted the hotel. After a few crashes, some yelling, and some suspicious neighing, Cedar bolted upright and squinted about the dark room, perplexed, before slipping on her glasses and turning to her friend.

"Sahara! Did you here that?" Silence was her answer. "Sahara! Wake up!"

"Captain Cragen, where are you going?" Sahara mumbled, still dreaming. Cedar sighed and climbed out of bed before reaching over to shake her companion's shoulder.

"Sahara! Come on, get up! There's something weird happening!"

"You didn't finish your punch!" Sahara's eyes shot open and she stared up at Cedar, who was giving her an odd look. "Cedar, you know I'm not a morning person," she mumbled as she grabbed her pillow. "Why are you waking me up when it's still dark?"

"Didn't you hear those noises?" Cedar asked incredulously. "They were so loud! How could you have slept through them?"

"With ease."

"Young ladies, are you all right?" Winston, still well dressed even in the middle of the night, opened the connecting door and flipped on the light. Sahara groaned.

"It's too early for this! I want to sleep some more!" Cedar sighed and turned toward the butler.

"We're fine, but I have no idea about what's going on. But I guess it'll just be you and me, Winston, who investigate these strange sounds." She grabbed a complimentary robe and slipped it on before noticing Sahara was sticking her feet into frog slippers. "You're coming?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sahara yawned again. "Why does everything interesting have to happen so early?"

"I do not know," Winston responded as he ushered the two into the hall. They padded down the shag carpeting before realizing more crashes and neighs were coming from the floor above them, and then boarded the elevator. When the steel doors finally parted, Sahara and Cedar gaped at the scene unfolding before them. Several strange people and what looked like several colorful walking dolls were scrambling around in a panic.

"I just don't know where he could have gotten to," a young woman with long brown hair said as she knocked on a nearby door. One of the doll-children, a girl with pink hair, patted her leg comfortingly.

"Don't worry, Megumi, I know he'll turn up soon. And when he does, I'll make him sorry for worrying you!"

"Oh, what if he never comes back!" A bizarre doll-boy with a duckbill was tearing up while a small, tan horse-creature was nuzzling him affectionately.

"Oh, don't cry, my little Kanchome!" A man with shaggy golden locks, hearts on his shirt, and an Italian accent picked up the duck-child and hugged him. "We'll find him soon."

"I just don't understand," a teenage boy with brown hair and a serious expression said as he crossed his arms. "Where could Zatch have taken off to at this time of night, and why would he leave without telling us?" Winston pressed his cane against the door open button to prevent the elevator from suddenly departing.

"May I assume from your expressions that you two have figured out where we are?" Sahara and Cedar turned to each other before grinning wildly.

"Zatch Bell!" they cried in unison.

"Well, we've searched all the upper floors and there's no sign of him." A girl in a red, Chinese outfit and a young man with long, white hair and similar doll-like eyes exited from the nearby stairwell and were the first to notice the three strangers. "Who are they?" the girl asked, puzzled.

"Wonrei! It's really you!" Sahara and Cedar launched themselves at the human-sized Mamodo and glomped him tightly.

"You should be the king!" Cedar yelled with glee.

"I hope you and Li-en stay together forever!" Sahara added, also gleefully.

'What? How do you know all that?" The girls turned to Li-en, who was staring at them in shock, before leaping off of her beloved and focusing their affections on the brave girl.

"You're so awesome!" Cedar cried, once again with glee.

"I agree!" No one could deny Sahara's excitement.

"Young ladies, please halt these assaults at once." Winston rushed forward, bowing profusely. "My apologies to you both."

"No, it's all right," Li-en said once the girls had returned to the ground. Wonrei slipped his hand into hers and the girls squeed at the cute gesture.

"Would you mind answering this riddle for me?" Sahara and Cedar jumped as another man with a top hat that strangely had a question mark floating over it, and a black cape appeared behind them. Upon his shoulder sat a doll-boy with glasses and a large blue hat, who was peering at them eagerly. "Who are you and why do you have knowledge of theses two, as well as the battle for mamodo king?" The girls looked at each nervously before Winston stepped forward.

"The battle for king of the Mamodo realm is a legendary event in the mystical world. Though I have studied it extensively in the past, I never dreamed I might one day meet the contestants. It truly is an honor, brave warriors."

"Oh, I see. The great Dr. Riddles has heard of the amazing mages from the mystical realm," the caped man said. "Isn't that right, Kiddo?"

"Right!" the boy on his shoulder agreed. "Dr. Riddles told me all about his studies on the worlds of magic! He even told me about how he once battled with the scariest, most powerful wizard in the world! Isn't that right, Dr. Riddles?"

"Kidding!" the doctor cried with a smile, causing Kiddo to gape at him in shock.

"No way! You fooled me again!" Sahara and Cedar started snickering until the serious-faced boy approached them.

"I don't feel like you three are any threat to us, but we're in the middle of an emergency and don't have time to entertain."

"Kiyo-kun, wait," Megumi said as she touched the boy's arm. "Maybe they can help us search for Zatch."

"Wait, is Zatch missing?" Cedar asked, turning to her friend in alarm. "How could we have not realized what was going on?"

"Well, I'm kind of flaky by nature," Sahara offered, looking introspective "Plus, it's the middle of the night, so I'm not at 100 here." Winston shook his head before turning with a kind expression to the worried group.

"This Zatch you speak of… is he, by chance, a mamodo as well." Kiyo nodded.

"Yes, and we have no idea where he's wandered off to. It's unusual for Zatch to leave without telling someone, especially when we're preparing for a battle."

"I see," Winston replied, touching his chin thoughtfully. "I believe I will be able to help you after all." Cedar and Sahara had turned their attention to the small horse-like mamodo, Ponygon, but they still listened to the butler diligently.

"What are you going to do?" Cedar asked. Instead of responding, Winston tapped his cane once against the carpet before it was engulfed in a puff of smoke. An instant later he held what looked like a black metal detector with a GPS tracking system near the top of the handle.

"This device can detect a variety of magical energies," he explained to the curious crowd. "Mamodo energy is quite distinct, as you can see." He pointed to the map-like screen, where five brightly flickering balls of light represented the five mamodos still in the hotel. "It appears that your companion has exited the building," Winston continued as he pressed a few buttons on the device. "I shall extend the range a few hundred meters and see if his energy is anywhere near this area."

"Oh, wow, that's amazing," Kanchome cried. "Isn't it, Falgore?"

"Yes, my little Kanchome," the man with the Italian accent responded as he set the excited child down.

"Aw, Falgore is so sweet!" The blonde man looked a touch confused as he was glomped by the teens but he seemed unperturbed by their advances.

"I'm always glad to please my fans," he announced before reaching into the inner pocket of his white coat. "Would you like autographed copies of my latest CDs?"

"Yes!" they cried together before glomping the man again.

"Aha, there it is." Everyone turned to Winston, who was watching the locating screen triumphantly. "There is another source of mamodo energy approximately 30 meters to the east of this establishment."

"That has to be Zatch," Megumi said hopefully while Kiyo ran into what the girls assumed was his room and peered out the window.

"There's a lot of jungle to the east. I hope he hasn't gotten lost."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go find Zatch!" Tia grabbed Megumi's hand and started pulling her into the elevator.

"Would you please lead us to him?" Kiyo had returned with a backpack and was looking at Winston pleadingly.

"Of course. Young ladies, are you to accompany us as well?"

"Yes, we're coming!" The two finally released Falgore and waved happily at

Li-en and Wonrei before joining the butler inside the elevator. Kiyo was the last to join the search party, while the others decided to head back to their rooms for some rest.

"I wish I were joining them," Sahara said as another yawn escaped.

"We will soon," Cedar said, growing excited by the adventure to come. "With Winston on our side, we'll find Zatch in no time!"

"I hope so," Kiyo said, clutching the straps of his backpack tightly. A few minutes later, the party was following a thin dirt path into the lush jungle. That is, until that path diverged into two.

"Now what?" Tia asked, looking anxious.

"Not to worry, my dear, I shall find the answer." Winston lifted his mamodo-detector and pointed toward both paths before pointing to the left one. "That should do it."

"Thanks, sir! Come on, Megumi, Kiyo!" The small girl pulled the two ahead with her while the travelers casually walked along after them.

"You know, it's strange," Cedar murmured to Sahara when sure the others couldn't hear her. "I don't remember Zatch getting lost during this part of the series."

"Hmm, that's interesting," Sahara murmured back. "Maybe it, and all the other events that have occurred, actually did happen in this world, but the manga creator, who usually accurately depicts everything, didn't pick up on Zatch getting lost. I mean, it wouldn't really advance the plot at this moment, since it has nothing to do with the 1000-year-old mamodos they're fighting."

"Maybe you're right," Cedar said, although she still looked unsure.

"Zatch!" The travelers hurried to catch up with the characters and soon discovered the missing blonde mamodo sleeping under a large tree covered with vines. Kiyo was kneeling beside his friend and shaking him gently. "Zatch! Wake up! It's me, Kiyo!"

"Kiyo?" The blonde opened one orange eye and yawned before sitting upright. "What's going on? Why are we sleeping outside?"

"You're the only one sleeping here, dimwit!" Tia yelled before bopping Zatch on the head. "You got lost out here and scared us all to death!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Zatch looked honestly upset by these accusations so Megumi sat down beside him and touched his shoulder comfortingly.

"Tell us what happened, Zatch? Why did you come out here?"

"I was going down to the lobby, to get some more blankets," Zatch began to explain. "But when I got there, I heard someone talk about a river right by the hotel where huge, delicious yellow fin tuna swam. I got really hungry and wanted to catch some fish for all of us, but when I came outside I couldn't find any rivers! I searched and searched for so long that I got confused and didn't know how to find my way back to the hotel. I'm really sorry for worrying everybody." Zatch looked down, ashamed, while Megumi patted his back. Sahara and Cedar looked at each other knowingly.

"That Zatch. He'll do anything for yellow fin tuna."

"Wait a minute." Kiyo had stood up and he was looking at the others with a furrowed brow. "Yellow fin tuna aren't native to South America. Besides, I've looked at maps and there aren't any rivers that close to where we're staying. Why would anyone say there was?"

"Perhaps the young mamodo misheard what was spoken," Winston offered.

"I didn't think I did… but maybe…" Zatch looked thoughtful before Tia grabbed his arm and pulled him upright.

"I don't care what you thought you heard! All I want to do is go back to bed, so you're coming with us right now!"

"Okayyyyyyyyyyyy!" Zatch's voice trailed off as he was dragged by the pink-haired mamodo back down the path they'd come.

"Thank you so much for all your help." Kiyo and Megumi bowed before the trio.

"That is quite all right, it was our pleasure," Winston replied before tapping the device against the ground. There was another puff of smoke before his cane returned to its normal appearance. "I suggest that we return to the hotel as well, before the sun starts to rise."

Several hours later, Cedar and Sahara properly woke up and, after dressing in some new clothes Winston had found for them in a nearby shop, journeyed upstairs to visit with their new friends. After being admitted to Kiyo's room, the girls were surprised to see a large sushi buffet being enjoyed by the characters.

"Where did this come from?" Cedar whispered to her friend.

"Where else?" Sahara indicated Winston, who was serenely sipping a cup of tea on a large sofa near the window.

"Since that young mamodo seemed so fond of tuna, I thought it only proper to offer an array of delights from the sea to apologize for your… over-enthusiastic behavior," he explained. "There are meals for you on that table."

"Aww, you ordered breakfast for us!" Sahara leaned over to hug the butler.

"Actually, as it is after noon, I ordered lunch."

"That's just as good." The girls quickly devoured the meals before asking Winston about departure.

"Whenever you two are ready."

"Are you leaving?" Kiyo, Zatch, and the others gathered around the trio. "Then, we wish you good luck in your travels."

"Thanks again for finding me!" Zatch piped up.

"You're welcome! And good luck during the battles," Cedar and Sahara said, although they were unable to look at those who would be most affected by the upcoming fights. Winston then tapped his cane against the ground to create the swirling portal. The characters gasped and stepped back, lest they be sucked into the strange ball of energy. With a final wave, and a nod from Winston, the travelers vanished.


	6. Interview with a Vampire

Interview with the Vampire

"Which is why it is unseemly for young ladies to be lounging about for half the day when they could be pursuing more productive activities," Winston said, finally bringing his mid-day lecture to a close.

"Winston, we didn't mean to sleep so late," Cedar said as she stood and stretched in the warm sunlight.

"If Zatch hadn't gone missing we would have received the necessary amount of rest for girls of our age," Sahara replied. The three were currently wondering along an empty road surrounded by thick forests of pine trees. The sky was overcast and every so often an icy breeze wold appear to chill the skin of the confused travelers.

"I hope it doesn't rain," Sahara muttered with a quick glance at the clouds. "Rain always signifies something sad."

"I just can't figure out what series this is supposed to be," Cedar remarked for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I wish we could find some sort of identifying character or landmark."

"Will that do?" Sahara was pointing to a large welcome sign straight ahead.

" 'Welcome to Forks'," Winston read aloud. "My, what an unseemly name for a township."

"Forks? I can't think of any anime series set in a place called Forks," Cedar said.

"Oh, no." Sahara suddenly looked bemused. "I might have an idea of where we are."

"Where?"

"Let's just walk for a little longer. I want to be sure we're here before I actually must speak the name of that series." Confused but deciding to trust in their companion, Winston and Cedar followed the now grim-faced girl further along the road. Soon several cars and buildings appeared, fleshing out the town of Forks, until a large, familiar building loomed in front of the three.

"A high school," Cedar deduced from the large number of teenagers milling about the area. "This should be a clue, right Sahara?" A tortured expression had crossed Sahara's face and she turned to the others, groaning.

"Oh God, I was right. We're in 'Twilight'!" She fell to her knees, shook her fists at the sky, and unleashed a furious scream of anguish.

"Would you please cease the dramatics and explain to us about this world?" Winston asked, looking a touch annoyed.

"It's so depressing and horrible," Sahara cried, still on her knees. "And... I don't know if i can talk about it. I'm still traumatized from reading that tripe!"

"Wait a minute," Cedar said slowly. "Are you talking about that awful book with the vampire and he werewolf?"

"And the stupid girl," Sahara added. "Don't forget the stupid girl."

"I believe I heard you ranting about that novel," Winston replied, after thinking for a moment.

"Yes, it was painful," Sahara said with a nod. Then her face brightened. "But now we have the chance to meet those ridiculous characters and try to drive some sense into their empty minds."

"Can't we just leave quietly?" Cedar asked. "I really have no desire to meet these characters."

"We must remain here for an hour," Winston restated.

"It'll be hysterical, Cedar," Sahara tried convincing her friend. "Plus, there was one intelligent character we could meet and thank for not being as infuriatingly moronic as the rest of the cast."

"Well, all right. We don't have anything better to do."

"Let's go look for the vampire's Volvo-and key it!" Before they could protest, Sahara was on her way to the parking lot.

"Young lady! I seriously hope you are making a poor attempt at humor!" Winston shouted as he and Cedar chased after her.

"I wouldn't count on it, Winston," Cedar replied. It wasn't long before the three located said car and stopped before the vehicle to stare at the dark-haired young man lying on the hood and moping. "Maybe we should leave before he notices us," Cedar whispered to the others.

"Hey! Old man!" Sahara shouted gleefully.

"So uncouth," Winston said with a sigh. The young man sat up at the noise and peered around with an annoyed expression.

"Yeah, you! With the volvo!" Sahara proceeded to point happily at the car.

"I think you're mistaken," the young-looking man replied. "I'm only 17."

"Yeah, you're lying but we won't get into it," Sahara said, unconcerned by the closed expression now covering the man's face. "But I do have a question for you: why are you such an emo stalker? I mean, I know that you're a vampire and everything, but don't you think after a hundred plus years you wouldn't be so lame, Edward?"

"What are you doing?" Cedar asked, taking a step behind Winston. "He could vamp out and try to drink us!"

"Nah, Winston wouldn't let that happen," Sahara replied, unconcerned. "Besides, he can't drink us-he doesn't have a straw!" She laughed hysterically at her own joke and slapped her knee.

"I don't think now is the time for mockery!" Cedar drew closer to Winston.

"Anyway," Sahara turned back to the perplexed vampire and approached him, "will you answer my question?" To emphasize this she reached out a index finger and poked his arm. "Wow, you really are ice-cold! That's crazy!"

"Who are you people?" Edward slid off his Volvo and advanced upon Sahara, who was closest to him. "How do you know so much about me?" He stopped for a moment and concentrated his gaze directly upon Sahara. "You also seem to know a lot about my family." His face suddenly darkened. "And Bella! What do you know about Bella! Tell me!" He grabbed Sahara by the shoulders, seemingly to shake her, but quickly redrew his hands when Winston admonished his cane to his knuckles.

"I shall ask you not to lay a hand upon my wards," he told the vampire with a stern tone.

"Ow, bitch," Sahara said as she rubbed her shoulders. "Your hands are way too strong-don't start randomly grabbing people!"

"I told you we should have left him alone," Cedar said, still behind the butler.

"If I had my swords, he would be sorry," Sahara muttered. Edward seemed to ignore their conversations as he stared at Winston.

"Your mind-why can't I read it?" he demanded. Winston frowned.

"Why would I allow my mind to be read by anyone?"

"But I should be able to read everyone's mind!" Edward protested. Then his face darkened. "Well, any mind, except for hers..."

"By the way, where is Bella?" Sahara interrupted. "Aren't you late for your daily stalking appointment?"

"I do not stalk her!" Edward said, although his tone was not convincing.

"Uh, remember that little thing you do at night? The breaking into her room and watching her sleep?" Sahara said with a look of disgust. "Those are the actions of a creepy stalker if I ever heard them."

"Bella," Edward said, his face retaining it's mopey expression. "I can't believe she would kiss that cretin Mike Newton."

"Huh?" Sahara was confused. "That didn't happen. In fact, she was constantly annoyed by his presence while she angsted over you."

"No, you're wrong," Edward cried, falling to his knees in despair. "The new girl in school saw them kissing and told me about it. I read her mind and could tell it was true. Oh, Bella, why?"

"That's pretty pathetic," Cedar said. This display had proven that the vampire was too busy brooding to even think about attacking the travelers so she had stepped back out into the open.

"Is there anything we can do to assist you?" Winston asked the distraught young man.

"You know, this is giving me a headache," Sahara said as she rubbed her head. "Let's just leave the guy to angst in peace."

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired of hanging around here anyway," Cedar agreed.

"I do not think we should leave without taking some sort of action," Winston replied. "If the event this young man described is not supposed to happen in this world, then something may have gone awry. It is our duty to assist those worlds thrown into peril."

"What peril?" Cedar asked. "So the dumb girl kissed a dumb guy for some dumb reason. It's not going to cause any major destruction, is it?" Just then a clap of thunder reverberated throughout the area, causing the girls to jump. "Ok, I'm sold."

"Awww, I'm bored," Sahara complained. "He's not funny when he's mopey. Can't we just leave?"

"An hour has not passed yet," Winston informed her after checking his pocket watch.

"Fine." Sahara approached the vampire and nudged him with her foot. "Hey, Sparkles. Get up so we can set this stupid story straight."

"Ok." Edward rose and followed after the three as they entered the school.

"Do you think you'll be able to recognize this girl?" Cedar asked her friend.

"If I don't, Edward will point her out," Sahara said. "Just wait for him to start drooling." Soon enough the vampire made a beeline for a stretch of lockers where a brown-haired girl was talking to some of her friends. "Whoa, slow down there, Sparkles," Sahara said as she grabbed the back of his shirt. "Let us assess the situation before your extreme jealousy ruins even more of this crappy book than usual." She pushed him into an empty classroom.

"I am not jealous," Edward said without taking his eyes off the girl.

"Yeah, sure. Winston, could you please look after this guy and keep him away from Bella until we question her?"

"As you wish," Winston replied, also stepping into the room.

"Thank you. Come on Cedar, let's see what the dumbbell has to say." The girls approached Bella with smiles wide enough to hurt their cheeks.

"You do the talking, I'll back you up," Cedar murmured. Sahara nodded.

"Like, hi Bella!" she chirped sweetly toward the protagonist. "Like, can my friend and I, like, talk to you over there."

"Uh, okay?" the beauty said, a little surprised.

"Oh, and before we go-you're totally awesome, Angela!"

"Thanks," Angela said with a smile. Cedar and Sahara led Bella to a spot near the door so Edawrd could watch without being seen.

"Did you want something?" Bella asked before tripping over her own feet and crashing onto the floor. Cedar groaned but both girls froze when the sounds of a scuffle came from the empty room.

"She needs me! Let me go to her!"

"The young lady merely tripped, she is not injured. You must stay here."

"Don't try to stop me-" A loud whacking sound finished the sentence and then there was silence. The friends looked at each other, concerned that Bella had heard, but the girl stood and smiled, none the wiser.

"Sorry, I'm a bit clumsy."

"We know-it's not as endearing as you'd think," Cedar muttered. Sahara ignored her and spoke frankly.

"Did you kiss Mike Newton?" Bella looked shocked.

"What? No! I would never kiss him!"

"That's what I thought. Ok, bye." Still appearing confused, Bella walked off to rejoin her friends.

"I guess the story is still on track then," Cedar commented as they stepped into the empty classroom. "Oh, my." Edward was slumped on the floor, a large bump protruding from the top of his head.

"Winston, what happened?" Sahara asked, turning quickly to the butler.

"He could not restrain himself, so I was forced to use drastic measures." The grip around his cane tightened and Sahara sighed.

"Well, we need to wake him and have him read my mind. Come on, Cedar." The two took turns shaking and poking the vampire until he groaned and reached for his injury.

"What happened," he moaned.

"No time to explain," Sahara said, staring directly into Edward's eyes. "Now read me and realize that Bella did not kiss that other guy."

"Really?" Edward was silent as he peered at the girl before sighing with relief. "Thank goodness, it was a lie. Thanks so much for your help. I must go now." Without another word, Edward ran out the door presumably after his beloved.

"Well, that killed an hour," Cedar sighed as Winston tapped his cane upon the classroom floor.

"I don't ever want to come back to this world," Sahara agreed.

"It wasn't even interesting when someone screwed up the plot."

"I wonder who that was?" Sahara said. "It definitely wasn't in the book, or I would have mocked it along with all the other lame events."

"I have no idea," Cedar replied. "I'm too depressed that we didn't even get to hug anybody in this sucky world."

"Perhaps you will fare better in the future," Winston replied, preparing the vortex.

"Hey, Winston," Sahara asked before they left. "Do you think we could stop off at home before traveling to the next new place?"

"Whatever for?"

"So Cedar and I can pick up our weapons. I want to be ready the next time some whiny bitch tries to grab me."

"I do not approve of such language," Winston commented with a stern expression, "but I suppose it would do to have you prepared in case of an attack."

"All right, we're going back home," Cedar said with a smile.

"You two can also use this opportunity to catch up on your chores," Winston said as they stepped into the vortex.

"Yeah, chores," Sahara said with a weak laugh. "We'll get right on those."

A/N: And so we triumphantly return from our absence with a mockery of a stupid novel series. Let the flames begin! Anyway, we really don't like this series for many reasons, and so we were going to call this chapter "Interview with a Dumb Vampire" so we wouldn't insult all the cool ones, but we thought we'd be tipping out hand too soon. Hope you enjoyed, leave reviews!


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